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Joke of the Day
"If only ISIS had kidnapped Liam Neeson's daughter, none of this would be an issue."
Next Joke
"[on date pretending not to be a dung beetle] Date: What's your favourite meal? Me: Poop Date: What? Me: SOUP, I like eating soup"
"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND *holds up a cat*"
"Where's the best place to hide after committing a murder? Behind a badge."
"How do you starve a black guy? The same way you starve anyone else , you racist."
"How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he just ""fell"""
"Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure..."
"Why are Jewish men circumsised? Because Jewish women only touch things 20% off."
"Okay, wait a second. I pee, I do my belt, THEN I wash my hands. I don't know about you but I've never, ever washed my belt."
"Why did the Pokemon Company offer me a role in their upcoming TV Series? So they could Starmie."