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Joke of the Day

"People do not know how to merge into traffic. All you do is yield, look left, close your eyes, and go."

"Do you know how many 3rd party sects the catholic church is protecting? None, catholics aren't allowed to have protected sects."

"Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? ""I still love Vista, baby"""

"My kids don't even know they have a grandma that gives them $100 on their birthdays"

"I'm really good at managing my credit card. My bank keeps sending me letters saying my account is outstanding."

"I tried to change my password to mypenis But it said it was too long."

"nothing is funny anymore becuase nothing is normal anymore. i saw a pigeon on the subway today and thought ""how did a pigeon make $2.75"""

"Does the circle of life... become a sphere in 3D?"

"They say an optimist will see a glass as half full, while a pessimist will see it as half empty. Speaking as an alcoholic it's panic stations either way for me."

"What did the grape say when an elephant stepped on him? Nothing, he just let out a little wine."