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Joke of the Day

"They should remake The Ring; instead of a tape, the creepy little girl uploads her video to YouTube and wipes out pretty much everybody."

"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quattro Sinko"

"Join The Army, visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them."

"""A car I've never seen before just parked outside. We're gonna die CAN YOU HEAR ME Jesus Christ you're not listening to me I said..."" - Dogs"

"I scream, You scream, We all scream Because grandpa fell asleep at the wheel again."

"Sorry I broke up with you via interpretive dance."

"How do you say goodbye to two people in Spanish? Adidos!"

"It's never going to work out between Mario and the Princess. Most of the time she's on a whole other level."

"Son: Mom, dad, I'm gay. Mom: *gasp* Dad: *clenches fists* Mom: Honey, stop! Dad: *steps forward* Mom: N- Dad: HI GAY, I'M DAD."

"I've finally taken the time to list my collection of John Lennon memorabilia on eBay. Imagine all the PayPal."