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Joke of the Day

"Lush is kinda like cocaine. Its all lined up on the tables and you spend your entire time using your nose."

"What is Snoop Dogg's favorite note? High G."

"A fish lost it's body part. Fin."

"What instrument did Bill Clinton play? That whore Monica."

"Going to dress up as a Jedi today and open automatic doors for people with the force. NO YOU GET A LIFE."

"How do you get garbanzo breath? Have a chickpea in your mouth"

"A new study shows that un-vaccinated children are less likely to be autistic because they are more likely to be dead."

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized."

"Wife: Talk sexy to me Husband: Commencing garment extraction W: Huh? H: Initiating trouser disengagement W: ... H: Removing unmentionables"

"""Houston we ... are fine."" Female astronaut probably"