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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber? Ask them to pronounce unionized."

"Oscar Pistorious wanted to get his bathroom door replaced But his wife was dead against it"

"One a Vietnamese game show, two brothers won 5 million dollars cash and an automatic convertible It was a Nguyen Nguyen situation."

"How is a Mac like a Queen's guard? They're both run by Unix."

"What was Hitler's favorite animal? Da cow"

"One day I'll make a cure for blindness. You'll see, you'll ALL see!"

"Why is Santa's sack so full? Because he only comes once a year."

"I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first"

"Why are there no casinos in China? Because the Chinese don't like Tibet..."

"I organised a little surprise party for a girl from work. She didn't show - so I guess I'll just go back into her loft and wait."