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Joke of the Day

"Last night I slept for 8 hours straight, and then for 2 hours gay."

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"""will you be paying with cash or credit?"" ""Cash"" *start playing ""ring of fire"" on my kazoo *gets tackled by security*"
"If eye-rolling burned calories, women would never have to diet."
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"Why do zombies always kill at comedy clubs? Because their jokes are told post-humorously!"
"Why is it called PMS? Because Mad Cow Disease was already taken."
"A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender gives it to him and he slams in down in one gulp. ""What do I owe ya?"" asks the neutron. ""For you? No charge."""
"A woman drives into a bar."
"A new joke about Kim Jong Un (removed)"
"Did you hear about the guy that went to court over a stolen bag? It was a brief case."