197821

Joke of the Day

"If I rule the world first thing I'll do is add a extra day into the weekend right after Saturday.. It will be called Matterday... It won't matter what you do that day"

"Ten: Number of fingers children have. Twenty-six: Number of fingers children have when you try to put gloves on them."

"I have CDO. It's like OCD, but the letters are in alphabetical order. Like they should be."

"So, i wanted to know what my weight was. 'Holding your belly in is not gonna make you lighter' my wife said. But how am i supposed to see the numbers?"

"I'm dating an x-ray technician... But I don't know what she sees in me."

"I saw this advert in a window that said: ""Television for sale, $1, volume stuck on full."" I thought, ""I can't turn that down."""

"Too ugly for the people I want. Too hot for the people who want me."

"Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin? Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays"

"This joke is like a party without any demand for fruit juice. There is no punch line."

"If girls with big boobs work at Hooters, where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP."