197821

Joke of the Day

"If I rule the world first thing I'll do is add a extra day into the weekend right after Saturday.. It will be called Matterday... It won't matter what you do that day"

"I walk the walk. I talk the talk. But mostly I sit the sit."

"Being an HR, whenever I get a new batch of resumes, I always throw half of them in the garbage. I don't want unlucky people working in my department."

"How do you get Holy Water? You put water in a pot and boil the HELL out of it."

"Why do so many girls wear sweaters that say 'SuperDry'... It's not like us boys wear sweaters saying 'micropenis'"

"Technology.( Based on true events) My apple watch reminded me to take a minute to breathe right after my grandfather let one rip."

"What do you call the Moon spirit that at once sits upon a lake of glowing jade and exists nestled within our divine souls? Altha'or syzygena"

"This is where I draw the line! ________________________________________________________"

"While in prison, I asked the Calvinist, ""Why did you kill your family?"" He answered, ""I had to know."""

"Why did the guitarist get arrested? For fingering A Minor"