156586

Joke of the Day

"I made the Earth move for the last girl I had sex with. And then I moved it back to the hole I had buried her in."

"It would be hard work being a deep-sea diver they're under a lot of pressure."

"What has a 10 foot neck four legs and loves money. A Jewraffe"

"i was sitting next to a gorgeous girl on the bus yesterday i was so nervous. i kept thinking to myself ""please don't get a boner, please don't get a boner"". she got a boner."

"What do you call martial arts for cows? Mooey Thai."

"A real man will always find time for his woman, even if it means blowing off a date with his mistress."

"*takes off pants* *crawls into bed* Security Guard- Lady, this is Macy's *crawls out of bed* *puts on pants* SG- Those aren't your pants"

"I went on a scavenger hunt the other day. I shot a vulture."

"Theres a dating website for people that believe the government is ran by lizard people so I really have no excuse for being single"

"so i learned recently that fruit is good for the colon... thus a homosexual's must be exceptionally healthy"