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Joke of the Day

"The officer said, ""you drinking?"" I said, ""you buying?"" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money."

"What do you call a pushy asshole potato? A dic-tater."

"Which insect do asian people eat the most of? Lice"

"Why did the console peasant faint at the art gallery There were too many frames"

"What's your body type? Mine is ""giant gummy bear."""

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? Ok. The boy fell in the mud. Ready for a clean joke? Yeah. He took a bath."

"I've found that whenever God closes a door, Satan hands me a lockpick."

"Take my wife, Please!"

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scotsman? Mick Jagger says ""Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!"", but the Scotsman says ""Hey! McCloud! Get off of my ewe!"""

"A good diet is follow me around the grocery store and don't buy anything I get."