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Joke of the Day

"The officer said, ""you drinking?"" I said, ""you buying?"" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money."

"I beat up some eggs with an egg beater. They kept cracking yokes at me."

"What can give you life, but also kill you? Your father..."

"""Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?"" ""Go on then"" ""NOT THE KRYPTONITE!"" ""That's Superman"" ""Thanks, I've been practicing."""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? He cannot comprehend the concept of a road. He is just looking for food."

"Surprisingly, Mike Rowe from the show Dirty Jobs has trouble with women. They all say he has a Mike Rowe penis."

"What's the deal with Arab Airlines food... Emirate?"

"I can always tell when someone is lying by tying them down and strapping them to a lie detector."

"Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence"

"When stoves die... they go to hoven. I'm^so^sorry"