112328

Joke of the Day

"What was the name of the Polish limo driver? Piccop Andropoff."

"""I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time."" -Revolving Doors"

"The girl I'm seeing said I should say ""make love"" instead of ""fuck"" I said ""what the make love are you talking about?"""

"If you need a fake British pub name for an elaborate lie the formula is Animal+Gardening tool= we had a proper laugh at the Frog&Shovel mate"

"I just realized the Dictionary.com app on my phone, reads out any word I type, including 'penis'. I can't wait for that meeting tomorrow."

"I child proofed my entire house... and they still got in"

"Speed was unrealistic because nobody riding a bus wants to live"

"Today I found out what it feels like to be discriminated against. I was unfairly labeled a scrub JUST because I was hanging out the passenger side of my best friend's ride."

"Tim Cook just came out as gay... I wont be surprised if the Samsung CEO suddenly becomes gay too."

"Why don't women like to wear dresses in the winter? Chapped lips"