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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a girl with a sledgehammer fetish She was pretty *eh* looking, but the sex was smashing!"

"In To A Bar. A priest, a rapist and a child molester walk into a bar. he orders a drink"

"My friend has a thing for sinking ships They go down quicker."

"Eating a banana. Thought I should tell you. Twitter seems concerned about women getting enough potassium. But... why can't I use my teeth?"

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"Friends: ""I need a new profile picture."" Me: ""I need a new face."""

"Why was the Planters employee fired? He was fucking nuts."

"If a friend tells you a half-assed joke that's not worthy of an LMAO, give them a LOCO - laughing one cheek off"

"""Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted,"" my dad told me. ""Are you kidding? Really?"" I shouted. ""Yup, get ready,"" he said. ""They'll be picking you up in about an hour."""

"Have you heard about the Italian chef? He pasta way"