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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a girl with a sledgehammer fetish She was pretty *eh* looking, but the sex was smashing!"

"I'm not above apologizing for my drunken behavior I'm just sick of repeating myself"

"One time the top popped off my blender when I was making a smoothie. So... Yeah Iceland, I get it."

"Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Nevermid, it's too long."

"A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose."

"Cop: Why did you burn that building down? Me: Because they keep sending emails after unsubscribing. Cop: You're free to go."

"I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with but I've been trippin' all day."

"I wonder if Einstein thought of his theory of general relativity... in New York's Time Squared..."

"I accidentally ordered a grande at Dunkin Donuts so I had to just keep speaking spanish so they wouldn't think I was a snob."

"Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."