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Joke of the Day

"How to keep a man happy: 1) Phone him 86 times a day 2) Wail hysterically 3) Be needy 4) Never sleep with him 5) Buy yourself shoes"

"My Dad has the heart of a lion and so much hate mail he had to shut down his dental practice"

"A shocking new report reveals Donald Trump likes to be peed on by members of his new administration He calls it a Goldman shower"

"Why didn't the girl cry after learning of her boyfriend's leprosy diagnosis? She didn't have a shoulder to cry on!"

"I bet my friend $1000 I'd never take it in the butt. He says I am just a sore loser."

"Hey kids! Make your voice heard this election day by hiding your parents identification! (Not applicable in some states)"

"One time cancer got a terminal case of Chuck Norris."

"I got attacked by someone who suffers with premature ejaculation today. He just came out of nowhere."

"The Illuminati doesn't scare me They never even kill anyo"

"How to lose weight: 1. Name your kid Weight 2. Take it to the mall"