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Joke of the Day

"Die Hard (1988) A shoeless New Yorker murders a bunch of people at his wife's office Christmas party."

"I spend most of my time waiting for the next big thing to hate."

"Cooking two tortillas at the same time like some kind of Mexican DJ."

"Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus."

"""It's obviously not real, you dumb impressionable twats"" ...every time people get up in arms over fake articles"

"My hamster died today He fell asleep at the wheel"

"Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today."

"that's disgusting (unless you're up for it?)"

"We all live in a yellow submarine... ...I really wish the bathroom was working right."

"Girls be having unprotected sex but then have the best case for their iPhone. They care more about their phone than their pussy"