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Joke of the Day
"Cop: Whatever you say will be held against you. Me: TEDDYBEARS Cop: Aww."
Next Joke
"I was kidnapped by mad scientist who experimented on me, replacing my limbs with animal ones. If I ever see him again I'll tear him apart with my bear hands."
"What is something that tastes better than it smells? A tongue"
"The most judgmental aquatic mammal is probably the seal of disapproval."
"My relationship advice is if you're not single you deserve it."
"What do you get when you cross a male chicken with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."
"Live today like it's your last!! But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."
"I'll take ""Much ado"" for $1000, Alex. Answer: ""John Wayne...Jeff Bridges... Donald Trump."" ""Who are The Duke, The Dude, and The Douche."""
"What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you for a year!"
"i know how hard it must have been for my parents to tell me there was no santa because i just had to tell my parents there's no jesus"