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Joke of the Day

"Cooking two tortillas at the same time like some kind of Mexican DJ."

"Why did the pirate go to Ireland? he thought he was going to Arrrland."

"[taking communion at church] I'm a recovering alcoholic do you have any actual blood?"

"If a dentist make their money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should I trust a toothpaste that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?"

"Tonight I made some synonym rolls Just like Grammar used to make"

"What did Eric Garner's wife say to him? Would it kill you to go sell a few cigarettes? too soon?"

"As far as I know original golf joke So what does a bogey have in common with a dead golfer? One too many strokes."

"How do you tell the difference between a normal potato from a slutty potato? The slutty one has the sticker that reads Idaho."

"I don't want a Hot Pocket. I'd rather have a pocket with a nice sense of humor & a pleasant personality."

"The best part about Ray Lewis being on ESPN is.. I can hear a guy with six kids by four different women lecture me about commitment & dedication."