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Joke of the Day

"Girls be having unprotected sex but then have the best case for their iPhone. They care more about their phone than their pussy"

"A lack of love from your parents leaves a hole in your heart only dicks can fill."

"Why are there no bungalows in France? Because the French have many flaws"

"Two muffins are in the oven. One looks over and says, ""Gee, don't you think it's hot in here?"" and the other muffin says, ""AAAAHHH!!!! A talking muffin!!!"""

"Date: so what do you do Me: i build dog houses Date: oh you're an ""arf""itect lol Me: haha good one Date: Me: (under breath) it's ""bark""itect"

"Helping a few people complete their bucket list so they will just die already."

"In 2016 Scott Baio has called Hillary Clinton a cunt, Chris Christie has called her a criminal and Ben Carson has called her a Lucifer worshiper. What will they call her in 2017? Madam President."

"Two ghosts walk into a bar... They don't say ow."

"A local man was arrested today for pouring Harpic all over the vicar. He's been charged with bleaching the priest."

"So many people are worried that The Walking Dead could happen and I'm over here terrified that Idiocracy is actually happening."