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Joke of the Day

"My blind friend and his birthday I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read."

"Why is it better to be a redditor rather than a suicide bomber? You are guaranteed to meet more virgins.."

"An Ancient Roman walks into a bar.. Holds up two fingers and says ""Five glasses of wine please""."

"Everyone always says that chocolate is like crack, so one day I actually tried it to find out for myself. I still prefer crack."

"Can I ask you a quick question? What is the quickest way to the front page?"

"????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????"

"What do you call a boxing on a slackline? Punchline."

"I told my comrades that the commissar is an idiot. I got 31 years gulag... 1 year for insulting a political officer, 30 years for revealing a state secret"

"Does anyone know where Engagement, Ohio is? About halfway between Dayton and Marion"

"Teacher: ok class bring your dioramas to the front of the class Me: [holding a bowl of diahorrea] oh no..."