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Joke of the Day

"Everyone always says that chocolate is like crack, so one day I actually tried it to find out for myself. I still prefer crack."

"Accidentally picked up two traffic cones instead of my children again"

"Why don't Canadians wear tank tops? They don't have the right to bare arms"

"I used to wonder what it'd be like to read other people's minds. Then I got a Twitter account, and I'm over it."

"How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly? The meth head still has teeth."

"How does a bad comedian sleep at night? I don't know."

"What do you call the parents of a cat? His PURR-ents"

"Sex is similar to math. You need to add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and hope to god you don't multiply."

"What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? Helllooooo ladies!"

"Two Irish men walk into a bar.... What else is new?"