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Joke of the Day

"There is still hope for for Hillary Clinton Nelson Mandela became President after 27 years in prison."

"Next time you're in the changing room and sales person asks if you need anything, just say ""Yes, can I get some toilet paper?"""

"[First Date] Me: *licks corner of napkin* Me: *dabs at his cheek* Him: ............... Me: Sorry. Force of habit."

"What has 16 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A sleepover at Michael Jacksons house"

"ME: Hey they're playing our song. HER: This isn't our song. ME: [turning up ""Go Your Own Way""] Yes it is, Karen. I want a divorce."

"Those who throw dirt... ...are sure to lose ground."

"I learned all my flirting from lizards so I just do a bunch of really fast pushups when I see a cute lizard."

"Jenna Jameson to Oprah, ""There's a little bit of Jenna Jameson in everyone."" I'm pretty sure she got that backwards."

"why does snoop dogg carry an umbrella? Fo drizzle"

"Got in a fight with my boner this morning; Don't worry i beat it single handedly."