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Joke of the Day

"Next time you're in the changing room and sales person asks if you need anything, just say ""Yes, can I get some toilet paper?"""

"""What doesn't kill you makes you smaller!"" -ask Super Mario"

"I like for my resolutions to be attainable so this year I resolve that I will neither become the pope nor will I become a cannibal."

"So Cheech Marin plays golf now, which is appropriate Because what's more Mexican than sweating balls on a freshly-mowed lawn with a bag full of weapons?"

"Last night I tried to go out for an Italian Meal, but there was a huge, fat woman standing in the doorway. I couldn't get pasta."

"Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Ve are asking ze qvestions here! A: Two one to give the order that the bulb be changed and one to screw it in."

"A cat once said we must think outside of the box Because it shits in it"

"I'm writing this from the hospital Don't worry! The doctors say I'm going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!"

"Waiter there is a cockroach on my steak ! They don't seem to care what they eat do they sir !"

"What do people with aspergers Do in the bathroom? They take an aspie"