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Joke of the Day

"What mistake did the chronometer make while it was getting along well with the digital watch? It asked the digital watch for its hand in marriage."

"Why did the prostitute join the Mormon church? She wanted a high paying missionary position."

"I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it."

"Why should you know who is the bride at an Irish wedding? Because that's the one you're *not* allowed to punch in the face."

"What do you call a plant and sock hybrid? A sockluent"

"I'll buy the magic mushrooms, fireballs and flying raccoons but a Princess dating an Italian plumber?"

"Used lettuce for my burger bun tonight. I've never been more prepared to become your most hated Facebook friend."

"What do you call the celebration that comes the day after Ramadan? Rama-done"

"Why can't someone who wears glasses get a job? They don't have any contacts!"

"Why do blacks smell? So blind people can hate them too."