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Joke of the Day

"The citizens of Twin Peaks became furious when they learned who killed Laura Palmer. They soon began to behave like a lynch mob."

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"What happens when you stick your hand in a jar of jelly beans? The black ones steal your watch."
"What do you call an electronic bowl? Ebowla"
"How do you get a homosexual man to have sex with a woman? Shit in her cunt"
"My neighbor is both a taxidermist and a veterinarian He has a sign that says either way you get your dog back"
"Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices."
"Wish a poltergeist would move in so there'd be someone else to blame when I lose my shit."
"Me: Dad, am I adopted? Dad: Shit, like I'd have picked you?"
"What do you call a practice exercise preparing for the possibility of observing hole-making tools undergoing a military parade? Drill drill drill."
"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster-shucker and a hooker with diarrhea? One shucks between fits, and the other fucks between shits."
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