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Joke of the Day

"Two guys walk into a bar... The first guy looks at the second guy and says... ""You ever wonder why we always walk in together?"""

"How many white people does it take to change a light bulb? A brunch."

"*at adoption center* ""Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"""

"I don't want to die doing something I love. I want to die doing something I hate. That way I don't have to finish it."

"No evidence is good enough for a Creationist... But no evidence is good enough for a Creationist."

"What's the difference between a voyeur and a thief? A thief snatches your watch."

"Thank you automatic ice dispenser. I was hoping to get either 2 or 675 ice cubes."

"I apologize for those affected, but at the same time I couldn't resist. I may have sinned. Who are the fastest readers in the world? 9/11 victims; 110 stories in less than 10 seconds."

"How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two."

"You know the difference between Lego and Sex? If you had to click, then... you'd better stick to Lego."