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Joke of the Day

"*at adoption center* ""Okay yeah they're all great and all, but which one is the most photogenic for Facebook and stuff like that"""

"I hate Housework!!! You do the dishes!! You do the Laundry!! ...and then 6 months later you have to do it all over again!"

"Sarcasm so good, they think you're being nice."

"There should be a ""shame"" setting on showerheads."

"I just sighed so hard, I won't have to dust for 6 months."

"What do you call a 100 year old frog ? An old croak !"

"Don't be stupid, if their ex is still calling it's because they're still getting an answer."

"A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor I have yellow teeth what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie!"

"What is the most religious insect ? A mosque-ito !"

"who paid? Wednesday, Tom and Joe went to a restaurant and ate dinner. When they were done they paid for the food and left. But Tom and Joe didn't pay for the food. Who did?"