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Joke of the Day

"That moment the school calls because 15 was caught drinking at school and it's still the same principal that had to call your parents."

"What is 6.9? A great thing ruined by a period"

"A history professor was given a boring lecture about Russian dictators Finally, an exasperated student exclaimed,""stop, you're putin me to sleep"""

"The wind just blew a napkin off my table and down the street. That one's on you, Earth."

"I take my wife out everywhere... except that she keeps coming back!"

"I recently attempted the world record for masturbation. I nearly pulled it off"

"A good listener always watches you speak, makes eye contact and never lets on he's thinking about something else."

"Photoshop is turning 25 years old this week. Actually, it's 35 but just looks 25."

"What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes? HOLY MACKAREL!"

"Why wouldn't Chad Kroeger (lead singer of Nickelback) have sex with Helen Keller? Because she's a woman!"