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Joke of the Day

"I take my wife out everywhere... except that she keeps coming back!"

"Why did ISIS throw the gay prostitute off the roof? He didn't bring in enough Jihadi Johns"

"The day Adele decides to crowd surf is the day we learn who her real fans are"

"How does a man cut his hair on the moon? Eclipse it"

"How many potatoes does it take to kill am Irishman? Zero."

"Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms."

"I clicked on the ""Random"" link in the navigation bar and it brought me to the Toronto Maple Leafs subreddit Guess I mistakenly clicked on the ""Funny"" link in the navigation bar instead."

"'It's ok, I'm from the internet', I whisper from under your bed as you call the police."

"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar fifty. Deer nuts are always under a buck... I'll see myself out now."

"(Court) Judge: You're on trial for excessive use of astronomy puns. How do you plead? Defendant: *leans in until lips are on mic* No comet."