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Joke of the Day

"""Um."" - 1st horse that got ridden"

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"Knock, Knock. Who's there? Opportunity. Don't be silly - opportunity doesn't knock twice!"""
"What's the difference between tumblr and a gun? The gun has only one trigger"
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"Me: You've dimmed the lights already, aren't we forward? * smiles suggestively * Optometrist: Just read the letters on the screen."
"What did the man in the ""Race for a Cure"" say to the three people beside him? ""we're walking four abreast."""
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"How can you tell if someone is a chemistry major? They have a mole on their body."