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Joke of the Day

"TIL: Diarrhea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans."

"When toasting the holidays Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a ""Bud."""

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven because they wouldn't let you in because you're terrible?"

"Sorry, I can't make it. Can't find my ""goin out"" sweatpants."

"My friend asked me how long I'v been married. I told him 15 years, but with the wind chill it feels like 30"

"Oh, man! It really smells like upfoo in here!"

"Did you hear it's 'National Pretzel Day' in America today? Just making sure everyone knows it's knot bread... (thankyou Simpsons)"

"Why can you never catch an economist masturbating? They use an invisible hand."

"I'm guessing that most people who claim to ""count calories"" are really bad at math."

"Q: How do ghosts fly from one place to another? A: By scareplane."