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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear it's 'National Pretzel Day' in America today? Just making sure everyone knows it's knot bread... (thankyou Simpsons)"

"Mum I found Dad Haven't I told you to stop making holes in the garden?"

"Why are the bears such a bad football team? Because when they were little, they were cubs. I'm so sorry"

"Does anybody know how can I send an enemy request on Facebook?"

"I carry a knife whenever I'm running late to work because that's what Counterstrike taught me: ""You always run faster with a knife""."

"[space mission studying behaviour of snakes on the moon] astronaut: ""we should've taken our own"" astronaut holding net: ""just keep looking"""

"Bats are just rats who had too much Red Bull."

"Yesterday I saw a little kid who kept refusing to go home for a nap. He was resisting a rest."

"Why couldn't the fun guy go in the elevator? There wasn't mush-room."

"Did you hear about the monkey lawyer who kept throwing his shit at the witnesses? He's been transferred to a different branch."