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Joke of the Day

"A hot girl in the hallway just smiled at me, but don't worry; I yelled ""I'm taken,"" and ran into the men's bathroom where she can't follow."

"What fetish does winners hate the most? The feet"

"What did one tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing. They're stuck up bitches."

"Your momma... Your momma is so fat when she gets into the elevator it HAS to go down"

"I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves. http://imgur.com/gallery/8u6m2Nv"

"How to raise a kid? I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions?"

"the saddest part about self driving cars will be all the times people die mid trip and then ur dinner guests or pizza guy will arrive dead"

"I used to know a guy who shaved around six or seven times a day and still had a beard at the end of the day He was a Barber."

"Why did the cow tip over? Excellent service."

"How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up."