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Joke of the Day

"What has two O's and fires? A double-vowel shotgun."

"What do an alcoholic and a necrophiliac have in common? They both like to pop open a nice cold one."

"This orange does not taste right... I think I'm gonna put it back in the crayon box."

"My dog just fell off the bed. I'm glad I'm not the only one drunk around here."

"What do you call a ban-worthy girl A banshee"

"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."

"My BFF asked me to watch her purse while she went to the bathroom. I asked her what it was going to do. I'm hilarious. Everyone says so."

"Synonym rolls... Just like grammar used to make."

"In calculus class we just finished revolutions of solids It made my head spin."

"Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?"