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Joke of the Day

"Raise your hands if you just completed a gymnastics routine."

"5: I want to learn drums. Me: Ok, but you have to walk them, feed them, and pick up their poop. *confused, 5 walks away I am the master."

"It's so cold in Michigan right now. The politicians have their hands in their own pockets."

"My neighbour came back home drunk and has been knocking at his door for over 3hours now. But he stays alone, should i go and tell him that he is not around?"

"Bill Cosby likes his women like he likes his town cars... Blacked out"

"I think my car must be Jewish It always needs to be gassed."

"What did the Suicide Bomber think about the premature bomb Explosion ? Wow this blew up."

"At school the other kids used to push me around and call me lazy I loved that wheelchair."

"Good Cop: *reaches for his gun* Intimate Moment Cop: *reaches for the same gun and their hands touch*"

"Why did the squirrel swim on it's back? To keep it's nuts dry."