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Joke of the Day

"Spending half of the movie wondering where the fuck did I see this actor before..."

"Did you know there's a type of spider that eats snails and uses the shell as armor to attack birds? That's not true. I'm sorry."

"This might be a bit rascist: What do you call an African American Houdini? Black Magic"

"The problem with millennials is they were taught to look up to Pokemon not *struggles to think of a thing old people respect* Mussolini"

"Dear boyfriend, i can make ur girlfriend scream louder than u can. Sincerely, spiders"

"I'm hungry A boy walks up to his dad. ""Dad I'm hungry."" ""Hi hungry!"" ""Dad I'm serious."" ""I'm sorry serious, I thought you were hungry."" The boy then dies of hunger."

"First they came for the Fight Club members, but I said nothing, because...you know...rules."

"Don't you hate it when you call a plumber and all he does is eat mushrooms and kill your turtles?"

"Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'? Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys, i'll let myself out..."

"How do you make a hormone? Refuse to pay."