83874

Joke of the Day

"I had the shingles on my house redone, and the contractor lied to me about his pricing. I was expecting it to be done for free; he said it was going to be on the house."

"Why do women always say they want a man with a stable job? What's so glamorous about cleaning up after horses?"

"Did you hear about the terrible kidnapping? Yeah. He woke up. :)"

"Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop."

"Where do trees keep their money? In branch banks."

"""What're you in for?"" ""I had a solid tweet *takes drag off cigarette* and no one faved it. I just lost it."" ""We've all been there, brother."""

"To this day, no song pumps me up as much as the theme from 'Bill Nye the Science Guy.'"

"Taught my grandmother that ""Jabroni"" means ""fine young man"" and it's made our time out in public way more interesting."

"What do a Rubik's Cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it, the harder it gets"

"""Hey babe, you smell that?"" ""No."" ""Me neither, start cooking."