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Joke of the Day

"If you laid end-to-end all the plastic bottles an average family throws away in a year, you will have wasted a fuckton of time."

"Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing? In case he got a hole-in-one!"

"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels still killing Indians."

"Ill tell you what I know about Dwarves Very little"

"*go to shake hands with All-Knowing Oracle* *just stares at me* *realize he knows I didn't wash my hands after using the bathroom earlier*"

"How do I submit a joke? Do I hand my life in?"

"Why does the left foot get all the blame if you're a poor dancer? ""Oh, you have two left feet. Hur hur hur"" I guess it is #rightprivilege"

"Spain now have the messiest prisons in the world. No messing."

"How do you comfort a Grammar Nazi? There, their, they're"

"I told my parents that I wanted to be a comedian for a living and they laughed at me I guess I'm off to a good start"