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Joke of the Day

"Did I tell you the one about the maize? Nevermind, it's too corny."

"*sees a spider* I'm going to kill him *turn around to get a shoe* *turns back around and spider has 8 shoes* Alright, let's be cool here"

"How does Matthew McConaughey like his sandwiches? On rye on rye on rye."

"A squirrel found big nuts to stock up in its tree. Now i have a empty nutsack and a burning tree."

"A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it"

"Why was Anakin Skywalker king of the pub crawl? Because he killed all the Yuenglings."

"I've finally collected enough rats asses to give to everyone on my list."

"what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothin'. she dun' been told twice."

"How can you tell the difference between a Fleshlight and the porn star it was modeled after? Rubber clit..."

"Devil worshipper leader: ""Due to a typo we have summoned the wrong demon."" Stan: ""Hey there."""