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Joke of the Day

"I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer today. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"I'm not sure if my foots been asleep for the last 3 days or if I have diabetes."

"I hate barbers more than doctors Because I have to live with the shit that one does."

"A skeleton walks into a bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm gonna need a beer and a mop."""

"What did Darth Vader say to the vegetarian stormtrooper? ""I find your lack of steak disturbing."""

"This is how clickbait works."

"What do you call a spelling mistake on a map? A topographical error."

"What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go"

"My girlfriend and I tried Anal sex for the first time today. It was a little ruff at first but I'm finally managing to sit down again."

"What is the difference between a dirty bus station and a lobster who got breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean."