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Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking of entering myself in a talent contest... It's a neat trick if you can do it --Barry Cryer"

"What's brown and sticky? Parcel tape."

"Make her feel like she's the only woman on earth. Because nothing makes women happier than feeling like all other women are dead."

"[boarding plane with really old pilot] ""think his heart will hold out? lol"" attendent: excuse me, sir? ""depart out, what time do we leave?"""

"Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!"

"TIL why Conservatives don't use birth control. Boys don't get pregnant."

"""Dear Gillette, 5 blades on the Fusion is enough, chill out."" -Seal"

"I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of crap together."

"How do Indian chiefs send messages? By teepee-mail!"

"this subreddit's online users http://puu.sh/lcMkv.png i'm not sure if i'm accurate but is it possible that the current users are online users - the sub users?"