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Joke of the Day

"What do men and beer bottles have in common? They are both empty from the neck up."

"I got drunk and woke up in the gutter. This is my sewer side note."

"You shouldn't be ashamed of yourself That's your parents job."

"JEllo hooker? What's the difference between Jello and a Dead Hooker? Jello wiggles when you eat it out"

"The rodents in my home are so damn big, they step in the glue traps and wear them like flip-flops around the house."

"I really want to make a joke about Luis Suarez but I don't want to upset Liverpool fans.F*ck it. Why is Luis Suarez a c*nt? Because he lives in Liverpool."

"Go down a water slide while it isn't wet and you'll understand why foreplay is so important."

"When do vampires bite you? On Wincedays."

"What's the difference between batman and a black person? Batman can go to the store without robin'"

"Use Angie's List if you want a plumber to come over. Use Craigslist if you want that plumber to come over with no pants."