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Joke of the Day

"My friend Phillip had his Lip removed... so now we just call him Phil."

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"A miracle birth, then resurrection. Accept Frosty the Snowman as your personal savior."
"What is the difference between Jedward and a vacuum cleaner? A vacuum cleaner only sucks when you turn it on."
"Some people wouldn't understand irony if it beat them over the head with a helmet."
"Searched for a PI service in my area... Got a delicious apple in the correct geometric shape, but didn't really help me figure out who my wife was cheating on me with..."
"What disease do police give black people? Glock coma"
"My neighbor knocked on my door at 3am!!!! 3 in the morning can you believe that?! Luckily, I was still awake playing my drums."
"Whoever invented work should have taugh it to masturbate so that it could do itself."
"Fucking customer keeps calling & asking for a quote even though I keep telling him I'm not an inspirational mother fucker."
"What do you call an orgy with six paraplegics? A threesome."