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Joke of the Day

"Whoever invented work should have taugh it to masturbate so that it could do itself."

"Remember, I'm always here if you need shoulders for your ankles to lie on."

"Immediately after giving birth to me my mom was charged with crimes against humanity"

"the closest I've ever come to a threesome was when I was mowing the lawn and I got hit in the face by two dragonflies having sex in mid air"

"Teacher: Class we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon!"

"What's the difference in a dog, some meat, and a blow job? You can beat your dog, you can beat your meat, but you can't beat a blow job."

"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize."

"I have the body of an eighteen year old I keep it in the fridge"

"A rabbi, a priest, and a Lutheran minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, Is this a joke?"

"I have one trophy on reddit. Dust"