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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to prepare baby food? Shake'n bake."

"I had a 7 course Irish dinner last night A 6 pack of Guinness and a potato"

"I guess you can say Eagles of Death Metal's fanbase is really blowing up.."

"What is the difference between jam and marmalade? You can't marmalade your dick down someone's throat."

"Cemetery I was walking in a cemetery this morning and saw a guy behind a gravestone. I said ""Morning."" He replied, ""No, just taking a shit."""

"Threw this on a chick last night On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?"

"I have my entire Valentine's day planned with my toaster! Okay, so first, we're going to take a bath."

"Sweep her off her feet, but not like the bad guy from Karate Kid."

"Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like."

"I just moved to a new housing estate and asked my girlfriend to celebrate with anal Her response; ""N.I.M.B.Y"""