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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone remember that show where Ron Howard was a kid with a paper route? Probably not. Opie delivered."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"How do you make estrogen? Don't pay her."

"What do you do to an Islamic dog that barks too much? Musl'im"

"I just had the biggest bowel movement of my life then turned around and the toilet was empty. Needless to say I completely lost my shit"

"-Do you take drugs? -No. -Ever tried them? -Never. -You seem very nervous. -I'm just not used to being questioned by a unicorn."

"I've just invented a new word. plagiarism"

"I bought a new boomerang... but I couldn't throw away my old one."

"A farmer won a million dollars playing the lottery, he was really excited looking at his bank account... ...it now showed zero dollars."

"What happens when a Jewish man with an erection walks into a wall? He breaks his nose."