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Joke of the Day
"Threw this on a chick last night On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?"
Next Joke
"Catch a spark... Set the world on fire! - Incinerational Tweet"
"Why don't cows smoke weed? The steaks would just be too high."
"The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk."
"Women want to be equal to men in every aspect except dating. You all want the same positions in the rest of the world but still expect to be wined and dined. How about steaks and bjs for the guys."
"Why does Marx's toilet play a sonata when flushed? Because of the violins inherent in the cistern."
"What sort of cereal does Thor eat? Loki Charms."
"A reddit mod walks into a bar... She promptly kicks everyone out, locks the doors and, declaring herself to be the bartender, proceeds to get drunk with power."
"How do you know you have a high sperm count? When the girl has to chew before she swallows."
"What do sea monsters have for dinner? Fish and ships."