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Joke of the Day

"Dogs are great. You can count on them to alert you of danger...Also, children passing by, squirrels and gusts of wind they don't like."

"You all know why Hurricane Matthews is so bad Well unlike Katrina its a guy"

"Manners matter. Good looks are a bonus. Humor is a must."

"*runs into the back of wife's leg with the grocery cart for the 5th time* me: We meet agai- wife: Go wait in the car me: Ok"

"Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."

"Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball? Because he can't make 3's"

"How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.. heh"

"What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters? Orange is the new Black."

"Then there was the time a cement truck collided with a paddy wagon. Twelve hardened criminals escaped."

"How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you? Try to get a long well."