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Joke of the Day
"Sweep her off her feet, but not like the bad guy from Karate Kid."
Next Joke
"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."
"[during sex] HER: this isn't working out ME: *putting sock puppet away* was it something he said?"
"Which came first? Chicken or the egg? I CAME FIRST! edit: CAME = CUM"
"*filming the Buick commercial with Matthew McConaughey* ""the leather keeps sticking to my back"" ""for the last time Matt keep ur shirt on"""
"All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign."
"Pokemon GO is the biggest thing right now, guess whats up next! Plantation Tycoon DownSouth 1600s Go Railroad 1800's Tycoon Auschwitz Tycoon Pedophile Go"
"What did Uranium-238 say to Helium when they first met? IDK"
"Help stop early childhood obesity It's as easy taking candy from a baby."
"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."