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Joke of the Day

"When I was 8 years old.. My dad put Snowballs in the blender to make a slushie. I miss Snowballs, she was such a good cat."

"Did you hear about the new Kanye track? Its the one about the lesbians riding three wheeled bicycles on a naturally occuring water dam? Its just dykes on trikes on dikes."

"Straight girls are like spaghetti... Only straight until they get wet."

"Did you hear about the shoe store that was looted during the Ferguson riots ? They took all the sneakers in the store but left all the work boots."

"What's the Difference between Jam and Jelly? What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass. Inspiration taken from How I Met Your Mother :)"

"""Sir, I need you to explain your resume."" Well, my pet tiger & I were beloved cartoon characters ""Current job?"" I pee on things I don't like"

"[boardroom] ""Now hear me out. They're Teenage.."" Ok ""Mutant.."" I like where this is going ""Ninja.."" Noun me, Graham! ""Turtles"" You're fired"

"When does CPR become necrophilia? When you are both stiff"

"Women are like the Call of Duty games. If you play them for too long, you'll end up alone."

"Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue? Because they can't dress themselves."