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Joke of the Day
"A women can only run as fast as her boobs will allow her."
Next Joke
"What did the dog say to the other dog at the party? Raise the woof!"
"[my dog lays down on my date's lap instead of mine] date: ""i had a good time tonight"" me: ""i think you need to leave"""
"my 10 year high school reunion is in August which means I have 2 months to lose 40 pounds and get engaged to Michael Cera"
"congrats to those who made it onto my ""Not A Lizard"" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum."
"Mom wants to meet her Son's Girlfriend Mom :- Son, I would like to meet your Girlfriend. Son:- Me Too.... (Being Single)"
"What's the difference between polite conversation and an erection? I can maintain polite conversation."
"When is a door not a door? When its ajar."
"As I basted the turkey, I swear I heard it say ""just not in my hair"""
"What's the difference between a Donald Trump and Ellen Pao? Edit: Trump can ruin a business right."