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Joke of the Day

"Wrote a joke. I wrote this joke- Where does Frankenstein's automobile go to rest..? Boris' Karl loft."

"What did the two story house say to its friend after it had just finished working out, and it's friend invited I to a party? I'm two tiered. I came up with this at 1am, enjoy."

"I have good news and bad news I've found a sock..."

"What do you call on-again off-again snow in Michigan? Inter-mitten."

"What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names."

"[job interview] ""What would you say is your greatest strength? I'm pretty humble. Actually, I'm incredibly humble. Amaaaaazingly humble."

"Pixar has made me feel affection towards rats, bugs, fish, robots, monsters and even cars. The real test would be a movie about coworkers."

"Mommy mommy why do I keep running around in circles? ""Shut up kid or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."" In the 80s, my mother thought this was hilarious."

"Take me down to the gentrified city where the grass is green and the girls can't even"

"Some people call it anal bleaching, but I prefer to call it changing my ring tone."