205073

Joke of the Day

"Pixar has made me feel affection towards rats, bugs, fish, robots, monsters and even cars. The real test would be a movie about coworkers."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women... Underage and sexy."

"What holds the moon up? Moonbeams."

"I stopped going to the beach because people kept mistaking me for a corpse and poking me with sticks"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see the poof. Knock Knock? Who's there? The chicken."

"Did you hear the joke about butter? No? I guess it didn't spread then"

"Kind of sad that old people, who have the least amount of time left, are the ones wasting the most time typing in ""http://www."""

"What do you call a party of communists that haven't seen each other in years? Soviet Reunion Terrible and painful, I know."

"I pull more tail.. ..than a slow kid at a petting zoo."

"When it comes to music..... Nobody beats The Jackson 5. Except for their dad. That guy beat the shit out of those kids."